Some Books That May Be Helpful To You
When the Past Is Always Present: Emotional Traumatization, Causes, and Cures
The book When the Past Is Always Present: Emotional Traumatization, Causes, and Cures introduces several new ideas about trauma and trauma treatment. The first of these is that another way to treat disorders arising from the mind/brain may be to use the senses.
This idea, which is at the core of psychosensory therapy, forms what the author considers the “third pillar” of trauma treatment (the first and second pillars being psychotherapy and psychopharmacology). Psychosensory therapy postulates that sensory input—for example, touch—creates extrasensory activity that alters brain function and the way we respond to stimuli.
The second idea presented in this book is that traumatization is encoded in the amygdala only under special circumstances. Thus, by understanding what makes an individual resistant to traumatization we can offer a way of preventing it.
The third idea is that traumatization occurs because we cannot find a haven during the event. This is the cornerstone of havening, the particular form of psychosensory therapy described in the book.
Using evolutionary biological principles and recently published neuroscientific studies, this book outlines in detail how havening touch de-links the emotional experience from a trauma, essentially making it just an ordinary memory. Once done, the event no longer causes distress.
Victims No Longer
For millions of men on the path to recovery, Victims No Longer is the next step.
The first book written specifically for men, Victims No Longer examines the changing cultural attitudes toward male survivors of incest and other sexual trauma. Now, in this Second Edition, this invaluable resource continues to offer compassionate and practical advice, supported by personal anecdotes and statements of male survivors. Victims No Longer helps survivors to:
- Identify and validate their childhood experiences
- Explore strategies of survival and healing
- Work through issues such as trust, intimacy, and sexual confusion
- Establish a support network for continued personal recovery
- Make choices that aren’t determined by abuse
Psychotherapist Mike Lew has worked with thousands of men and women in their healing from the effects of childhood sexual abuse, rape, physical violence, emotional abuse, and neglect. The development of strategies for recovery from incest and other abuse, particularly for men, has been a major focus of his work as a counselor and group leader.
Thoroughly updated and revised, and including an expanded Resources section, Victims No Longer educates survivors and professionals about the recovery process — speaking to the pain, needs, fears, and hopes of the adult male survivor.
The Power of the Other
A bestselling author and expert on the psychology of leadership identifies the critical ingredient for personal and professional well-being.
Most leadership coaching focuses on helping leaders build their skills and knowledge and close performance gaps. These are necessary steps, but not sufficient. Using evidence from neuroscience and his work with leaders, Dr. Henry Cloud shows that the best performers draw on another vital resource: personal and professional relationships that fuel growth and help them surpass current limits.
Popular wisdom suggests that we should not allow others to have power over us, but the reality is that they do, for better or for worse. Consider the boss who diminishes you through cutting remarks versus one who challenges you to get better. Or the colleague who always seeks the limelight versus the one who gives you the confidence to finish a difficult project. Or the spouse who is honest and supportive versus the one who resents your success. No matter how talented, intelligent, or experienced, the greatest leaders share one commonality: the power of the others in their lives.
Combining engaging case studies, persuasive findings from cutting-edge brain research, and examples from his consulting practice, Dr. Cloud argues that whether you’re a Navy SEAL or a corporate executive, outstanding performance depends on having the right kind of interpersonal connections to fuel personal growth and minimize toxic associations and their effects. Presenting a dynamic model of the impact these different kinds of connections produce, Dr. Cloud shows readers how to get more from themselves by drawing on the strength and expertise of others. You don’t have a choice whether others have power in your life, but you can choose what kinds of relationships you want.
Love Languages – Updated: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?
In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.
The 5 Love Languages book is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.
Includes the Couple’s Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.
Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t
Too many of us have invested ourselves into relationships that left us deeply wounded. We’ve been abandoned or taken advantage of, and left with little to show for what we’ve given. We’ve lost our sense of security and personal value in the process.
And what’s worse, we tend to either repeat the same mistakes of judgment over and over . . . Or else lock the doors of our hearts entirely and throw away the key. Why do we choose the wrong people to get involved with? Is it possible to change?
And if so, where does one begin? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance and gather them into this book. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Safe People will help you to recognize 20 traits of relationally untrustworthy people.
Discover what makes some people relationally safe, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You’ll learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your relational security. And you’ll find out what to do and what not to do to develop a balanced, healthy approach to relationships.
Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No
Draw the line . . . Used with its companion book, Boundaries, this workbook will provide practical, non-theoretical exercises that will help you set healthy boundaries with parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even yourself . . . by drawing on God’s wisdom. Being a loving and unselfish Christian does not mean never telling anyone no. This workbook helps you discover what boundaries you need and how to avoid feeling guilty about setting them. It will give you biblically based answers to questions you have about boundaries.
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Rules for Romance That Can Help You Find the Love of Your Life. Between singleness and marriage lies the journey of dating. Want to make your road as smooth as possible? Set and maintain healthy boundaries–boundaries that will help you grow in freedom, honesty, and self-control.If many of your dating experiences have been difficult, Boundaries in Dating could revolutionize the way you handle relationships.
Even if you’re doing well, the insights you’ll gain from this much-needed book can help you fine-tune or even completely readjust important areas of your dating life. Written by the authors of the bestselling book Boundaries, Boundaries in Dating is your road map to the kind of enjoyable, rewarding dating that can take you from weekends alone to a lifetime with the soul mate you’ve longed for.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not.
Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances — Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions — Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others — Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator — Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask:
- Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
- What are legitimate boundaries?
- What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
- How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
- Aren’t boundaries selfish?
- Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No
Teenagers! You love them to pieces … but sometimes you feel like the pieces are falling apart Relax! Your sanity will survive these rocky teenage years, and so will your teens―provided you set healthy boundaries that work to their benefit and yours.
Boundaries with Teens shows you how. From bestselling author and counselor Dr. John Townsend, here is the expert insight and guidance you need to help your teens take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions and gain a deeper appreciation and respect both for you and for themselves.
With wisdom and empathy, Dr. Townsend, a father of two teens himself, applies biblically based principles for the challenging task of guiding your children through the teen years. He shows you how to:
- Deal with disrespectful attitudes and impossible behavior in your teen
- Set healthy limits and realistic consequences
- Be loving and caring while establishing rules
- Determine specific strategies to deal with problems both big and small
- Discover how your teenager thinks.
- Learn how to apply biblical principles to specific problems.
Boundaries with Teens can help you establish wise and loving limits that make a positive difference in your adolescent, in the rest of your family, and in you.
Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
What the award-winning Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children Here is the help you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives. Learn how to:
- Set limits and still be a loving parent
- Bring control to an out-of-control family life
- Apply the ten laws of boundaries to parenting
- Define appropriate boundaries and consequences for your kids … and much more.
“Boundaries with Kids helps us give our kids the skills they need to live realistic and full lives in meaningful relationships. Not perfect—but healthy!” —Elisa Morgan, president of MOPS International, Inc.
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
In this timely and profoundly original book, writer and physician Gabor Maté looks at the epidemic of various addictions in our society, tells us why we are so prone to them and outlines what is needed to liberate ourselves from their hold.
Starting with a dramatically close view of Maté’s drug addicted patients, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts weaves in stories of real people while providing a bold synthesis of clinical experience, insight and cutting-edge scientific findings. A haunting, compassionate and deeply personal examination of the nature of addiction.
Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
From the author of the best-selling memoir An Unquiet Mind, comes the first major book in a quarter century on suicide, and its terrible pull on the young in particular. Night Falls Fast is tragically timely: suicide has become one of the most common killers of Americans between the ages of fifteen and forty-five.
An internationally acknowledged authority on depressive illnesses, Dr. Jamison has also known suicide firsthand: after years of struggling with manic-depression, she tried at age twenty-eight to kill herself.
Weaving together a historical and scientific exploration of the subject with personal essays on individual suicides, she brings not only her remarkable compassion and literary skill but also all of her knowledge and research to bear on this devastating problem.
This is a book that helps us to understand the suicidal mind, to recognize and come to the aid of those at risk, and to comprehend the profound effects on those left behind. It is critical reading for parents, educators, and anyone wanting to understand this tragic epidemic.
Journeying with Jeanette: A Love Story into the Land and Language of Alzheimer’s
This book tells a heartwarming and compelling story of Bob and Jeanette Crick’s relationship and their journey together through Jeanette’s battle with Alzheimer’s.
You’re about to learn a new language It’s a language you already know, but one that you will come to know so much better. It’s the language of love. When you take a journey with someone, especially someone close to you, you learn a lot―about them and about yourself as well. This book is about a journey, perhaps a path you are walking as well. The goal of this book is not just to tell a story but rather to give you help, encouragement, insight, and support in your own journey. You will need this.
Jeanette and Bob were partners in life for 66 years. The latter years, though filled with challenge and pain, were also some of the most enriching and rewarding one could ever imagine. Journeying With Jeanette will help you embrace:
- The power of sacramental cleansing
- New depths of forgiveness―of yourself and others
- Embracing, even celebrating, imperfection
- When your heart is right, there truly is joy in the journey
Fifteen Minutes to Freedom: The Power and Promise of Havening Techniques
Havening Techniques® students, practitioners, and trainers share how this remarkable neuroscience-based tool is helping their clients:
- dissolve toxic stress;
- boost positivity and resilience;
- recover faster from physical, emotional, and psychological challenges;
- quickly and permanently heal the emotional residue of trauma; and
- create lives of fulfillment and freedom.
A quiet healing revolution is spreading slowly but surely across the planet.
This revolution is taking place not through the latest discoveries in pharmacology, or through new insights in how to manage symptoms of emotional, physical or psychological dis-ease.
It is taking place one person at a time, through a simple process that uses the power of touch, attention and imagination to heal emotional (and often, physical) pain that has seemed intractable and unresolvable.
This revolution cuts to the core of the cause of much of humanity’s suffering, and provides a simple yet profound cure that literally rests in the palm of our hands.
This book tells the story of this revolution from the perspective of individuals who have devoted their time and energy to learning and sharing this powerful process with the world.
Other Useful Books
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress
In this accessible and groundbreaking book–filled with the moving stories of real people–medical doctor and bestselling author Gabor Maté shows that emotion and psychological stress play a powerful role in the onset of chronic illness, including breast cancer, prostate cancer, multiple sclerosis and many others, even Alzheimer’s disease.
When the Body Says No is an impressive contribution to research on the physiological connection between life’s stresses and emotions and the body systems governing nerves, immune apparatus and hormones. With great compassion and erudition, Gabor Maté demystifies medical science and, as he did in Scattered Minds, invites us all to be our own health advocates.
Crazy Like Us: The Globalization of the American Psyche
It is well known that American culture is a dominant force at home and abroad; our exportation of everything from movies to junk food is a well-documented phenomenon. But is it possible America’s most troubling impact on the globalizing world has yet to be accounted for? In Crazy Like Us, Ethan Watters reveals that the most devastating consequence of the spread of American culture has not been our golden arches or our bomb craters but our bulldozing of the human psyche itself: We are in the process of homogenizing the way the world goes mad.
America has been the world leader in generating new mental health treatments and modern theories of the human psyche. We export our psychopharmaceuticals packaged with the certainty that our biomedical knowledge will relieve the suffering and stigma of mental illness. We categorize disorders, thereby defining mental illness and health, and then parade these seemingly scientific certainties in front of the world. The blowback from these efforts is just now coming to light: It turns out that we have not only been changing the way the world talks about and treats mental illness — we have been changing the mental illnesses themselves.
For millennia, local beliefs in different cultures have shaped the experience of mental illness into endless varieties. Crazy Like Us documents how American interventions have discounted and worked to change those indigenous beliefs, often at a dizzying rate. Over the last decades, mental illnesses popularized in America have been spreading across the globe with the speed of contagious diseases. Watters travels from China to Tanzania to bring home the unsettling conclusion that the virus is us: As we introduce Americanized ways of treating mental illnesses, we are in fact spreading the diseases.
In post-tsunami Sri Lanka, Watters reports on the Western trauma counselors who, in their rush to help, inadvertently trampled local expressions of grief, suffering, and healing. In Hong Kong, he retraces the last steps of the teenager whose death sparked an epidemic of the American version of anorexia nervosa. Watters reveals the truth about a multi-million-dollar campaign by one of the world’s biggest drug companies to change the Japanese experience of depression — literally marketing the disease along with the drug.
But this book is not just about the damage we’ve caused in faraway places. Looking at our impact on the psyches of people in other cultures is a gut check, a way of forcing ourselves to take a fresh look at our own beliefs about mental health and healing. When we examine our assumptions from a farther shore, we begin to understand how our own culture constantly shapes and sometimes creates the mental illnesses of our time. By setting aside our role as the world’s therapist, we may come to accept that we have as much to learn from other cultures’ beliefs about the mind as we have to teach.
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